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Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
