I could make wine with my vomit
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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