So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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