C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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