I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
even my farts smell like vagina
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
