Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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