in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
