didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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