you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
