Do you still have your period?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
