my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
