Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
