Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
