Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
