How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
