I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
