did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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