I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's official drugs can't kill me
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
