I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
