KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
