Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
