the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
