i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
