and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
