i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
