The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
