Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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