he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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