rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
