I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
