I need help removing her.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
