I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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