Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
