He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
