I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
