Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
