After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
