You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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