how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
