didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
