my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
