im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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