Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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