Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
