he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
