So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
