This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
