i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
