Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
