there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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