Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it hurts more in the daytime
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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